30 days... 21 years in the making!!

Tonight at Celebrate Recovery I got my 30 day chip for healthy, no counting, no weighing, or no measuring EATING!

I can remember as far back as 12 years old about being self conscious about my body and feeling fat. I have tried EVERY diet out there but have always felt like everyday it was an internal battle with food and with my body image which led to an eating disorder in my twenties. These last 30 days have truly been some of the most freeing and life changing for me. I started this journey with thedanielplan.com 32 days ago after attending the celebrate recovery summit in August.  I looked at it like I have every other thing I had tried and honestly expected it fail and feel deprived BUT it was SO different for me.  I think the biggest difference I think this time is I have finally made a healthy decision and not just a weight loss decision. I have never felt so much energy, emotionally regulated, and just healthy! A lot of people have asked what the "Daniel Plan" is so in a nut shell...

1. If it comes out of the ground or has a mother eat it!
2. No man-made sugars. (Only Stevia, Organic Honey, and Organic Maple Syrup)
3. No caffeine.
4. If it is in the aisle of the grocery store make sure the product has no more than 5 ingredients and be able to pronounce all of them.
5. Organic whenever possible

Tonight when they said "30 days, Does anyone have 30 days?" I wanted to jump up and cheer but I remembered that Friday night is for the newcomer and I did not want to scare people away. hahaha I am so thankful for celebrate recovery and for the daniel plan.  I don't know nor do I worry about if my feeling about this program will change but I do know that TODAY I feel healthy, happy, and good about myself and the way I look and THAT has been a 21 year journey!

FINALLY A DINING ROOM I LOVE!

When we bought our house about 1 1/2 years ago it was a "short-sell" wreck! I loved the vaulted ceilings. I liked that the kitchen had a nice size dining room attached but once I painted the accent wall I did not know what to put on it. I have my great-grandmother's grandmothers pie safe, my grand mothers sewing machine with her mothers sewing box and my great-grandmothers dishes.  I found a table at a place here in the city that had a table the matched all the antiques but I was sooooo lost with the huge brown wall!! My friend Beth is one of those people whose house looks like a magazine! Her husband and I grew up together but I have just been getting to know Beth so I emailed her and asked her to help! She came over and we looked and talked about the room and now I have a room I LOVE and not look at with despair, frustration, and hopelessness! I also did all of this for only $22! I got the lamp, white ceramic chicken, and metal candle box (the water pitcher was my great-grandmothers) at Goodwill, the plates at Ross, and plate hangers at Hobby Lobby!  The lamp was a 70s shiny brass so I spray painted it with some silver spray paint I had!



BEFORE!



AFTER!

Big Bertha & Our Family's Camping Adventures: Robber's Cave September 2011

We decided to take a little family camping trip this last weekend. We headed back to Robber's Cave because I knew my phone would not work down there and I needed a break from work and the outside world! We took the kids out of school a 1/2 day on Friday and headed out for our camping adventure! We arrived around 5:00 p.m., got "Big Bertha" set up and then we started dinner!

After dinner we took a hike!

We got back just at dark and set out and enjoyed the night air! We then headed inside and Misa taught us the card came "Con Quien"

After that we watched (well I fell asleep before the first 10 minutes were over) Indian Jones and the Last Crusade!

In the morning I woke up first and made pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and sliced cantaloupe for breakfast! Then we all got ready and I realized I left my hiking shoes at home and all I had was my toms and my flip flops so the best husband in the WORLD took me to "town" (Wilburton) to the only store they have that sales shoes fit for hiking! SHARPS!

We then headed to the cave to hike!

After our hike we headed back to "Big Bertha" for lunch and just relax time! That afternoon Meme and Punkie came down!

After they arrived we headed to the paddle boats and kayaks!

They both did great!  Allie was great at going in a circle and a nice man went and got her brought her back. =)
After the paddle boats, kayaking, and a little swimming we headed back to camp and the girls hung out with Meme and Punkie while Misa, Oscar, and me went on a 2.5 mile hike!

Oscar took off after a deer while we were hiking and he really thought he was going to catch it!

After our hike we headed back to camp and we cooked out turkey burgers, hot dogs, and smores before saying goodbye to Meme and Punkie. We were all pretty tired but Oscar was the first one to fall asleep.

Bless her heart! Allie is a product of her mother. These are the "Lists" she made during our trip!



She was CONVINCED this was "BIG FOOTS" footprint!

We had a great time and made some good memories! I am so excited to see where we will go next! 
Lesson Learned: Quality time and Memories are what make a family!

Chloe is 12!! WHAT??

I was 21 years old when I had Chloe. I had NO idea what I was doing nor was I prepared at all for being a parent but on September 5, 1999 at 4:18 p.m. Chloe Valee Neilson was born!

This year Chloe decided to celebrate her birthday with the Wilshire Youth group at the annual lake day!

I promise no alcoholic beverages were consumed! Even though everyone is looking a little rough! hahaha

They had fun tubing on the Goodpastures boat (sorry I did not get any pics of that).  Karri Jo (one of Chloe's favorite people in the world) cooked out hamburger and hot dogs and then they had a fun filled game of water balloon volleyball!

Then we celebrated with COOKIE CAKE!

For the day of her actual birthday she and her friend Alexus, who share the same birthday (they are only 13 hours apart), celebrated with a their "lunch crew" with a joint party (thrown together VERY quickly). Alexus mom is serving in the military in Egypt and she is staying with her grandma. I wanted Chloe to feel like she has a lot of friends at school because she has had a couple incidents with these two boys at school that have made her a little apprehensive when going to school. So at the last minute I kinda through this little birthday party for her and Alexus and all the great girls she eats with every day from her elementary.

It has been our tradition to go out for Birthday Dinner or Birthday Breakfast! Chloe picked birthday dinner at:

FRIED PICKLES!

1 wing for every year of life!

Dinner Crew for Chloe's Birthday Dinner!

Kissin Cousins!

Marble Slab for dessert!

Dessert Redneck Style!!  In the back of a pick up truck!

Happy Birthday Chloe! I hope you let God lead you in this life. For it is only through him you will have true success!

The Road of Forgiveness

For me, the road to forgiveness has been a long one for the hurts in my life.  Each hurt has had a different path some were short and easy and others have been long and with lots of turns and twists.  I finally came to realize that forgiveness was not a light switch I just turn on and off. For me,it was a choice I had/have to choose everyday. For a long time I was in deep denial about resentments. One of my biggest weaknesses/strengths is I REMEMBER everything and I tend to hold onto hurts until they fester into resentments.  A few weeks ago the lesson at Celebrate Recovery was on the idea of forgiveness.  The speaker gave an illustration similar to this:

"The prison cell was locked and the keys securely hung on the jailers belt. Now, surely, the jailer could rest since he had each offender ‘put away’ for good. But as he trudged away from the cell and up the stairs to the living quarters, the jangling of keys on his waistband constantly reminded him that he was responsible for the ones he had imprisoned.. Would the prisoners try to escape? If the prisoners did escape, was not the jailer and his family in mortal danger of retaliation? Was he sure he had locked each cell tight? Did the prisoners have friends who might try to engineer a breakout? These and many other thoughts flooded the jailer’s mind. As he sank into his easy chair, he began to realize a truth: The one who holds the keys to the prison cell is more the prisoner than the one inside the cell.

Are you a jailer? Well, yes, if there are those you have not ‘forgiven’. You may ‘hold the keys’ but the burden of ‘keeping people locked up and where they belong’ is a tiring and taxing task. You spend a lot of time and energy making sure the people who have ‘done you wrong’— some so long ago you don’t remember why— stay locked up and punished for their crime. You’re quick to remind everyone of the ‘crimes’ done to you by these offenders every time someone mentions ‘parole’. Retaliation is a nerve-racking possibility that haunts you wherever you go. Ambush could be just around the next bend in the road. You thought ‘out of sight, out of mind’ but you often review mentally the faces of those you have grudges against. When you pass a member of the ‘prisoner’s family’ on the sidewalk, a knot draws up tightly in your stomach and your eyes cut quickly the opposite way as if to avoid reality… but they know you have the keys… and you know they know."
God has always pulled at my heart when it comes to forgiveness inching me more and more toward it and when I think I have fully forgiven He has given me opportunities to really test that idea.

Often when a speaker says something that strikes me I write it in my Bible. Here are some of the things I have learned:

"Forgiveness does not mean the endorsement of behavior, exemption from God's judgement, or restoration of trust." -Kent Allen

"The first and often only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiving. We set a prisoner free and then discover the prisoner we sent free is ourselves."-Lewis Smedes

"Unforgiving people are unforgiven" -Curt Niccum

"We are most like God when we forgive."-??

I have really struggled with forgiveness in certain areas of my life and honestly I do not want to forgive sometimes. SOOOO... my prayer tonight is

"LORD HELP ME TO BE WILLING, TO BE WILLING TO FORGIVE."

Lesson Learned: God is ALWAYS working on me in this area and just because I have traveled the road to forgiveness in a lot of areas each path is different.  I need to let God lead the way and quit waiting on "my justice" before I want to forgive.