Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thanksgiving 2012

This year we had a GREAT Thanksgiving despite the fact that Misa had to attend a school for work the entire week of Thanksgiving. The girls and I decided to stay home and to invite any of my student workers over that did not have anywhere to go. We had 7 guests! I cooked and we ate!


Thursday night the girls and I decided to go to the movies and we saw "Life of Pi"! Chloe and I loved it but it was a little too scary for Allie.

That night we got home and drug out the tree and Christmas decorations. We put everything up except for the ornaments on the tree.

Friday, we got up and headed to Kohl's where we got the girls yearly Christmas Ornaments for free with all the coupons and discounts I had. Then we headed to Walmart to get groceries and saw that they had Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter Movies for $2.49 so we ended up with some great Black Friday deals without the chaos. Misa ended up coming back Friday afternoon and we just had a quiet day at home. We hung the ornaments, watched movies, and hung out together. Chloe's friend Alyssa came over so that they could make a movie for Chloe's book report at school. You can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJgaTJyyix8&list=UUDvholGIDUuF90Au4rPSJTA&index=1&feature=plcp


Saturday, Misa was off to work again. My sister-in-law, brother, niece, and their friend came up for the day. We ate lunch and left Uncle Matt with the kids and the football and got some shopping done! Then we came back home for OU/OSU game.

Sunday, we had a great worship at church with and later on Misa and I went and got some Christmas shopping done.

Oscar and Buster enjoyed Thanksgiving as well! Oscar got into the mac-n-cheese but Buster was a good boy and only ate what I gave him. He did have a full tummy and took a long nap!



It was nice to just be home and have a real break with not a ton of organized planning.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Patience

I know it has been a while since I have blogged. The last few months have been filled with ups and downs. We have continued with the fertility treatments with no success so far. I think the roller coaster ride of hoping for the best each month and then not being pregnant has taken its toll on my emotional state. After the time change, I felt depression that I have not felt in a long time. Then at my doctors appointment I found out I had a cyst so I have to take a break from treatments for now. This Sunday was the first time in awhile I felt like my old self and it felt good to not feel like I am walking through jello or counting the hours until I get to crawl back in bed.

Patience is something that has never come easy and to be honest I have been afraid of it! I always tell people NOT to pray for patience for me. Then I heard something last month that has really made me reevaluate my view on patience.

"Patience is long-suffering with a view of the end result."

This really has caused me to reconsider my fear and aversion to patience. As someone to tends to react emotionally and impulsively, I struggle with grudge holding, being a victim, and being comfortable in chaos. I also have realized that my lack of patience results in my anger problem. When I view everything in my life as such an extreme it is impossible to see the end results. However, since I began my recovery journey those things have been worked on by God. I think trying to find patience takes me back to the first 3 steps I have learned at Celebrate Recovery:

Realize I’m not God: I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable. (Step 1) Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” Matthew 5:3

 

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover. (Step 2) “Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Mathew 5:4


Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control. (Step3) “Happy are the meek.” Matthew 5:5

I really like the "short" version of these steps:
I CAN'T
GOD CAN
I WILL LET HIM.
I try to now make amends quickly, view people as God's children and not their actions, and live one moment at a time and enjoying God's blessings instead of wondering what bad is coming next. I am learning to let go and have even been praying for patience in certain areas of my life. I am thankful for my family that has been patient with me. I am thankful for friends who are further down road on their journey that lovingly encourage me on my path. I am thankful for a God who walks beside me and carries me when I cannot put on foot in front of another.