Tonight I received my 4 year chip! Four years ago tonight, I walked through the doors of Celebrate Recovery at Memorial Road Church of Christ. I did not have many friends (and really only 2 but they lived far away and I would go months without contact with them). I had been through so much that I actually felt better in chaos and turmoil then when things were going well. I was angry, unforgiving, and judgemental. I loved being a victim and a martyr and guilt was how I motivated and manipulated many in my life. I took EVERYTHING personally and I was obsessed with perfectionism. I believed in God but it had been years since I could say a prayer and I rarely opened my bible outside of church. I was there because my counselor said she thought it would be good for me. I had NO idea what these next four years would have in store for me as a person, wife, mom, boss, employee, and friend. I really feel like today even though I still struggle, I have a lot more balance in my life. I celebrated 60 days of daily bible reading last week. I can pray! I am an active participant with my church family. I have friends and I have became closer to the two friends I really neglected and honestly, only called when I needed something. My husband and I are happier than we have ever been. I am healthier and I am comfortable in my own skin. I am a calmer mom. I do not need to "fix" everyone. I can listen to people and not be thinking of the next thing I am going to say. I have truly for the first time in my life felt grace and felt truly forgiven. This acceptance of forgiveness and grace has caused me to be a much more gracious and forgiving person. "I still stuggle but now I struggle well and with hope!" Needless to say... I am so thankful I chose to walk across that parking lot 4 years ago and for the journey so far. It has been a long winding road filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and a few detours but I know I would not be the grateful believer in Jesus I am today without it!