36!

Well, yesterday I turned 36! 

This last year has been filled with lots of change, peaks, & pits. We moved to Arkansas last June. We loved it there and found and amazing church family and made friends I am sure we will have for life! In August, just weeks away from our first invitro try, I found out that we were pregnant! Then in November we found out we were being transferred to Houston. 

Then 2weeks ago our miracle baby was born. 

God has really been working on me this last year and reminding me over and over about "living one day at a time, one moment at a time". This year I am comfortable with my age. I am thankful for my family. I am more in love with my husband than ever.

I am learning to love my girls through the hard stuff and to celebrate everyday victories in their lives.

 I can't wait to see what year 36 has in store!

 My Devo this morning for my first day of being 36 was a great reminder for the year to come:

"Focus on who God is - his unchanging nature. Regardless of circumstances and how you feel, hang on to God's unchanging character. Remind yourself what you know to be eternally true about God: He is good, he loves me, he is with me, he knows what I'm going through, he cares, and he has a good plan for my life. Raymond Edman said, "Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light." 
So don't be troubled by trouble. Circumstances cannot change the character of God. God's grace is still in full force; he is still for you, even when you don't feel it."

Emilia María

Dear Emilia-

You are officially one week old today! Mommy and daddy have waited a long time for you. We found out in Arkansas that we were pregnant with you but you were born in Texas after 11 weeks of moving here. (I thought about making a run for the border so you could be an Okie!) The last few weeks of mom's pregnancy were rough and Dr. Jenkins agreed to induce mommy on Monday, 4/21/14. Your great grandma arrived on 4/20/14 from Honduras and your Meme and Punkie arrived that day as well. 

At 5:30 in the morning we arrived at Methodist West and the induction began. 

After a few hours of contractions, mommy got her epidural. It took a while and some adjusting to get it working like it should and after about an hour mommys blood pressure dropped and they had to get it back up. It was a little scary! Mommy's pulse was 42 at one point. Around 1:00 pm, the nurse said Mommy was at a 6 but just 40 minutes later mommy was at a 9.5. You were facing the wrong way so the nurse had mommy lay in a weird position and it worked! You turned to face the right way for birth. Dr. Jenkins arrived and after 5 minutes and 3 pushes you were here! 

Somehow in the process of giving birth mommys tailbone was broken. It is very Ouchy! 

We stayed in the hospital 2 nights before being released. Mommy was starting to get the hang of breast feeding, with the help of the lactation specialist, when the pediatrician said we had to supplement because you had lost too much weight and you were jaundice. The day after being released we headed to the pediatrician and we had to endure your screams for 20 mins after a heal stick to check your bellirubbion count. Mami was crying as much as you and daddy had to leave the room. The pediatrician also said to let you try to feed on each side before giving you as much as you wanted from a bottle. This is making you a lazy eater and you often cry until you get the bottle. So far, you are a great baby that loves her sleep and often has to be woken up to be fed. 

Your sisters are getting used to having you around and often take turns holding you. Your sisters both had some anticipation about you not looking like them but after looking at Chloe's baby pics and you and Allie's matching angel kisses you are definatly related. 

One of the best things about your birth is watching your daddy with you. He is so attentive and loving.

He reads everything the doctors give us. He loves to feed you and dress you and even doesn't mind changing your diapers.

 He takes his turn with you at night and often times you sleep in your cradle on his side of the bed. He loves when you are awake and all the funny expressions you make. 

I enjoy our time alone. 

Watching you sleep, eat, or the way you seem to follow my voice. I find myself a lot calmer and less anxious than I was with your sisters. I will say this breast feeding thing has been frustrating as I have waited and waited for my milk to come and I have shed a few tears over you wanting a bottle rather than me.  I am thankful that I am at least getting some milk now when I pump and about every other feeding you are drinking moms milk even if it is in a bottle. 

What a difference a week makes! Our lives have definatly been changed forever by your arrival! We are so thankful for you and the miracle you are in our lives! 

Love, 

Mom

3 Become 4!

It really hit me last night that an era is coming to a close. For 11 years, as far as girls go, it has just been Chloe, Allie, & me. 

For 4 of those 11 years, it was just us 3. 

We have been through a journey of lots of peaks and pits. 

It also hit me that Emilia will not know the unique experience of growing up on a college campus. I hope our testimony of the blessing of OC is made clear to her. The birthday parties at the playground, the wonderment of the ping pong and pool tables in the Nowlin Center, the endless Icees at the caf, feeding the ducks in the OC pond, playing on the grand piano in the lobby of the Gaylord center, window shopping in the bookstore, and going to class with mom on school holidays and sitting at the feet of amazing professors while coloring! How many 11 year olds get to call Jim Baird their BFF! 

This last year has been tough to leave behind our OC home but it was time for our family to spread its wings and leave the nest. We have a lot of wonderful memories and OC is part of us. So, within the next few days jenchlonal will have a new member. It will be exciting to see how Emilia changes our "Girls Club"! 

Family Evolution

With the anticipation of our new family member arriving any day now, it's been a great time of reflection for me. Having been a mom for 14 years I can look back and see a lot of mistakes I have made, things I want to do different, & even some things I would like to stay the same. 

Honestly, I have shed a few tears over this because I can look back and see my time as a single mom was really about survival and there wasn't a lot of room for anything else. I am so thankful for the many times that grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends stepped in to love on Chloe and Allie when I couldn't. I am very thankful for my recovery and that I am now able to be more of the mom I always have wanted to be. 

This last year has been very tough especially for Chloe. She is a teenager now and trying to learn to navigate feelings and hurt that  would be difficult for a 30 year old let alone a 14 year old. I pray everyday for her peace and healing and her journey to find that. In the mean time, it feels like I am just trying to keep her afloat and from making detrimental life altering mistakes. 

I am thankful that Emilia will grow up in a 2 parent home. One that I know where she will be surrounded by love and stability. She will have a father that already puts her first. Don't get me wrong, Misa is an amazing step-father who puts Chloe and Allie above himself. He has carefully navigated the murky waters that step parents face. He has gotten the short end of the stick several times when it comes to the girls. He does all the hard work and rarely sees any of the glory. I read a study recently that says it takes the average child 6 years to accept and trust a step-parent and we will be married 6 years in August.

 

I also recently heard an analogy on successful step families being like a crockpot:

"The key to crockpot stepfamilies is time and low heat. I've already stressed the importance of being patient with the integration process and not trying to force love, care, or togetherness. Often, in an attempt to quickly combine various ingredients such as people, rituals, and backgrounds, stepfamilies use the food processor, microwave, pressure cooker, and blender integration styles. Such an effort almost always backfires, bringing a backlash of anger and resentment.

Stepfamilies need time to adjust to new living conditions, new parenting styles, rules, and responsibilities. They needtime to experience one another and develop trust, commitment, and a shared history. They need time to find a sense of belonging and an identity as a family unit. None of these things can be rushed. Adults who are trying to prove to their parents, friends, church, minister, or themselves that their remarriage decision was right for everyone, push their family to "blend" quickly. But they are often greatly disappointed and feel like failures. A slow-cooking mentality invites you to relax in the moment and enjoy the small steps your stepfamily is making toward integration, rather than pressuring family members to move ahead.

Cooking with low heat refers to your gradual, intentional efforts to bring the parts together. It is working smarter, not harder. Let's contrast some crockpot approaches to the examples of what not to do.

As a crockpot stepfather, you don't worry excessively about why you're not immediately bonding with your teenage stepdaughter. Slow-cooking stepparents understand the cardinal rule of relationship development with stepchildren: Let the stepchild set the pace for the relationship. If the child is receiving of you, then openly return the child's affections. If she remains distant or standoffish, find ways of managing rules and getting through life. But don't insist a child automatically accept your authority or physical affection."

I guess the reason I am writing all of this is because I know life is about to change and a new dynamic is about to make her presence known. My perfectionistic/codepedent side wants to make this transition easy and the best case scenerio for everyone but I know that it isn't always going to be easy and at times it is going to be a hard adjustment, but once again I am brought back to my recovery lessons that even as a family we are to take it "One day at a time, one moment at time." 

Spring Break 2014

Well, spring break marked our 6th week living in Houston! Our Oklahoma family came for a visit as well as Chloe's BFF Aylssa! 

This anticipated visit was great for getting the house together and decorated. 

They arrived Saturday night and we ate together and then we just talked while the cousins begun playing and memory making activities! 

On Sunday after church, we stuffed ourselves at Lupe's and then crashed for afternoon naps.

 On Monday, we had kind of a lazy/hangout day. My wonderful handy man of a daddy helped me get my laundry room organized with building some shelves! 

Meme made sure all the grand kids got the attention they needed and plenty of rockin chair time! 

Monday was St.Patrick's day so we had our traditional green chocolate chip pancakes! 

We attempted to get a pic of all the cousins together but that was a bit like herding cats!

Poor little Rhett is way out numbered but he thinks his girl cousins are so funny! 

Monday night Lori had a family shower for me and I was able to open all my gifts from Oklahoma from the shower that got iced out. 

Adley even got dressed up for the shower! 

Tuesday we headed to the zoo and at times it felt like we brought the zoo to the zoo! Ha! We finished off the last night with pizza! 

Wednesday morning we said "Good-bye" as they headed back to Okla-home. A great time was had by all and most importantly watching little cousins play, read books together, & look up to each other was the best part of the trip! 

 I can't wait to see how the next two little ones fit into all this! 

Allie is 11!

On March 3rd, our little Allie turned 11. 

We started out with our tradition of birthday breakfast and uncle Matt joined us! 

After school, I had a huge cupcake from Kroger waiting for her! 

Nana and Pa happened to time their gift perfect and so the traditional cereal box full of British chocolate arrived with a card with money inside! 

On Friday, we had a party for her with a couple school friends and a few friends from church. We had pizza, ice cream cake, and we tie-dyed tshirts!

This hasn't been the easiest year. Moving twice and Allie was in middle school in Arkansas and now she is back in elementary school has been challenging. Academically Allie has never struggled (YAY Kumon!) but Texas schools are some of the best for a reason! The bar is a lot higher so Allie signed herself up for tutoring on Wednesday mornings. She gets there at 7 and studies with her teacher until school starts at 8:45am. 

Allie has had a lot of firsts this year:

-school dance

-youth group activities

-the dreaded "girl" video at school complete with a Q&A afterwards

Allie B-

You are an amazing girl with a heart for the broken. You love church and can't wait to be in the youth group again in August. You constantly live life as a musical! You love bubble baths, painted toes, & dancing! You are not afraid to say how you feel! Your little cousins think you are the coolest and you are so patient with them and determined not to make them feel like a bother to you. You are apprehensive about your little sister's arrival, which will make you the middle child. Your favorite person on earth is your Meme and her back scratches! You amaze me with having such an amazing insight to forgivness to those who have hurt you in your life. You can be a worrier like me but when you find yourself worrying you quote the scripture:

You have some amazing life goals and I know you will work hard to achieve them! So Happy Birthday sweet girl! I love you!

-Mom

Texas Triumphs and Turmoil!

Well, in all honesty this move has been a lot tougher then our Arkansas one. With the exception of Chloe, she loves school, has amazing teachers, has made friends both in school and at church, & is finding ways to serve in the youth group. This is their Youth logo and verse:

Allie had to go back to elementary which she was excited about but it's been a tough transition. Her school is pretty strict and expects a lot from 5th graders. It isn't anything that Allie is capable of she just was used to 6th grade in Arkansas where they were more lenient because it was their first year in middle school and a lot of things were focused around the adjustment of changing classes & having lockers, etc. at this school they seem to be getting them ready for middle school so they place a lot of responsibility on self-sufficiency which as a parent I am all for but Allie has struggled with the transition. Also, in Arkansas she was in the youth group and here she will have to wait until August. She is jealous of Chloe and all the youth things Chloe gets to go do. However, for the first time we are at a church where there are several girls her age and she has been able to make some friends.

Both the girls are experiencing life as a minority here at their schools. Allie is only 1 of 2 Caucasian children in her class at school. At Chloe's school there are 1300 students and only 130 are Caucasian. The majority of the students are Hispanic and every information paper they bring home from school is in both English and Spanish. Chloe has made friends with a girl who is Peruvian! She is super sweet and she has come to church with us and Chloe has gone over to her house. Her mom is super sweet and between my limited Spanish and her limited English we have been able to communicate. 

On our very first Sunday here the girls started LTC and so that has been a great way to connect to others and make friends. Chloe has youth group every Sunday night, Girls bible study on Monday nights, and on Wednesday they have "Refuel" which is where they go tot the church after school hang out, do homework, play basketball, and then have pizza together before worship. Chloe has also really connected with her new youth minister, Chris, he plays ukulele and wears bow ties! 

Our house is a huge blessing! We have had 2 water problems that, Lord willing, have now been fixed! We are slowly making this house our home. Between my limited ability because of being pregnant, Misa's work schedule, and life in general with running kids, homework, cooking, and laundry. It is moving along about like a herd of turtles walking through peanut butter! 

Yesterday, marked my 200th day for being pregnant. Her nursery is still empty but hopefully that will change here in the next few weeks. For the most part I have been feeling well. I had a blood clot scare and my hip and low back have been bothering me at night so about 3:00 am I have to get up and attempt to sleep sitting up. I have found a great chiropractor here and that is helping when I am able to go. Until we reach our family deductable it costs me $60 a visit. I know we are close reaching that and there are a few things that haven't been put through the insurance yet that might put us there. After that it will only be $12 a visit! So in the mean time, I am resting a lot and attempting to take it easy. If you know me, it is difficult to sit in a mess and be patient. Misa is amazing though! He always has me sit down and direct when we are able to hang things and the kids are great to help pick things off the floor or get things out of low cabinets for me. 

Oscar and Buster have had their own adjustment issues! First off our new house has stairs and it took Buster and hour to muster up the courage to climb them. They pooped on the couch upstairs the first day and then the other morning Buster ate Allies glasses. Then one of them stepped in poop in the backyard and tracked that in. Misa installed a dogdoor in the back door so I don't have to get up to let Oscar out because he can't seem to hold it all night. Right now the rest of our street is being built so they love sitting upstairs at Allies window watching all the workers! Needless to say they have caused some frustrating situations but I am praying its out of their systems! They have always been a little naughty but haven't been ones to have accidents in the house! 

One of the best things about living here is getting to spend time with Adley! She loves her cousins and either loves her fur-cousins or is hitting them yelling "BACK! BACK!" 

So, like I said... This move has been a journey in and of itself. I am praying that it is only up from here for all of us and that we can find our "family rhythm" soon enough!