Pain, Denial, & Realtionships

These past couple of weeks have been full of self examination in my relationships with others. As when I always try to look at myself it is painful because coming out of denial is tough!

I really struggle with relationship and closeness with people.  There are few people that know the real me, but since I began my Celebrate Recovery journey 3 years ago I have slowly began to try and have connection and closeness with people. I think one of the main things that keeps me from this is the fear of hurting others. With my perfectionism tendencies, it is very hard to connect with people and try to always say and do the right thing but I know it is important to surround myself with people who love me through the good as well as the bad. For me, two of the most painful things in my life are when I hurt those I love and when I am hurt by others. I have ALWAYS struggled with living in "extremes"  and I am still learning to trust myself and my ability to make healthy boundaries so that I CAN have healthy relationships in my life instead of trying to get through life without them. So for a long time it felt safe to keep everyone at a distance and do things myself BUT God did not design me that way! He designed me for relationship.

On FACEBOOK I am a "fan" of the Celebrate Recovery page and this week there were 2 very powerful posts that spoke to me. So I thought I would share:

Pain - God's megaphone to get our attention!
"To deny your pain is to refuse God's power to help you recover. How bad does it have to hurt before you are ready to face your denial and admit you can't handle it on your own? Remember, if you could have handled that problem on your own it wouldn't still be a problem." LHC's Choice 2
Why don't you make today the day of surrender? That's right, give up and give it to God. And then make sure you are plugged into His family because none of us are strong enough to do it alone. CR is a great place to make this a reality! Mac

"As strange as it may sound, pain is God's antidote for denial. Pain is God's way of letting us know something is seriously wrong." LHC's Choice #2

God loves us to much to allow anything to destroy our lives or relationships. So He sends pain to let us know there is something that needs our attention. Then when we think, finally, I have worked through all my denial issues, here comes the pain again. God's letting me know I have not arrived and there is something else I need to work on. Are you experiencing some pain in your life? Very possible God is trying to get your attention.

"New" Cars!

Over the last few weeks we have sold our cars and bought "new to us" cars. I was surprised about how I was attached to "Madame Blueberry" (1997 Honda CRV). She was a good car! I got her with the help of my grandparents 8 years ago. She got us where we need to go. She never broke down! She traveled the turnpike to Tulsa and back many times, made 4 trips to Michigan and back, and got us around town!

I did sell her to a wonderful person! Yves is a Rwandan Student that is studying Engineering at OC! He also works with Rwandans for Water and helps to drill clean wells in Rwanda. This is him in Rwanda at a drill site:

I cannot say enough good things about Yves!! He is a natural born leader and has a passion for his country and people! I cannot wait to see the how God uses this young man to change the world!

Misa has discovered car auctions and purchased a little 2005 Kia Spectra!  She needs some TLC but Misa has already put on new brakes, did a tune up, put on new windshield wipers, and got her some new tires! We still have some cosmetic things to do but she runs great and most importantly gets 30 miles to the gallon!! As is the tradition in our family she has a named and Allie was so distraught over selling Madame Blueberry I promised her she could name the next car so "Senora Oreo" it is!

Misa has always looked online at cars so when he said he wanted sell his truck I really did not take him seriously becuase he has always said that at least every few weeks since he purchased "The Beast" (2009 Dodge Ram). But this time he actually started to go and look at cars and then he traded in his truck for a 2007 Tahoe!  After going through a few names, we have started calling it "TAHIE" because Allie thought that was what kind of car it was and Chloe and I thought it was funny!

Because Misa has a work truck so we are only use "TAHIE" for long trips.  The great thing is she can pull "Big Bertha" (our camper).  

Lesson Learned: God is so good!! He has taken care of us and kept us safe and given us the ability and means to buy these cars to get us from A to Z!  

FAMILY PICS 2011!!

I have learned with my international people experiences that Americans take A LOT of pics of themselves so the idea of "family pics" has been a little different for my Honduran born and bred husband.  After some prompting from his Grandma Dorothy Misa said "I guess we can get some family pics" (even though he thought we would just be taking one picture... haha). I contacted Judson Copeland (we grew up at BAcoC together and now he works at OC) and we met at a park in OKC.  Misa was a GREAT sport and when we got done he even said it was not that bad! Below are some of MY favs!

Lesson Learned: Memories and Families are not made by photos BUT I know I love having them and looking at them but NOT having them all the time really helps me appreciate them that much more!

Trash to Treasure Inspirations!!!

SO, a new show on TV called "Picker Sisters" has really awakened something inside me.

"Starring best friends and renowned interior designers Tracy Hutson and Tanya McQueen ("Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"), "Picker Sisters" reaffirms the classic saying “one person’s trash is another’s treasure” by following the design duo as they crisscross America in search of rare relics and materials to create stunning pieces for their Los Angeles home décor pop-up shop."

I also have recently joined Pinterest!!

"Pinterest lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and organize their favorite recipes.
Best of all, you can browse pinboards created by other people. Browsing pinboards is a fun way to discover new things and get inspiration from people who share your interests."

So between the two the last few weeks I have started going to LOTS of Thrift Stores finding "Old things and Making them new again!"  I was not good at taking "BEFORE" pics but I will be from now on.
The one of the first things I bought was this wood box that I INSTANTLY knew I was going to do a crackle finish on and set it on our large fire place with some firewood in to tie in with the a mirror I had bought at a thrift store in Tulsa for $5!

ALL TOGETHER THESE PROJECTS COST $16!

I also "rescued" this lamp. When I brought it home it was 1970s brass and I spray painted it silver and picked up a new lamp shade at "Ross" for $7.99. The lamp was priced $10 but it had a blue sticker on it so that week it was 1/2 off so I got it for $5! I bought a $4 can of spray (which I have since used to spray paint two other lamps).

The search for these treasures has lead Misa and I to some interesting places!



There we found a GREAT milk jug for the corner of our dining room! Misa's expert negotiating skills got it for $8!

At Marys, Misa spotted this GREAT mirror that I put in our dining room and once again with his negotiating skills he got it for $5!



We also went to what is one of my favorite places now!

This place is AWESOME but PRICEY!! I like to get ideas here! Which inspired the hunt for this next pic!

I did not find this but I told my "estate saleing" friend-Diane if she saw a farmhouse lantern I WANTED IT!

I also have enjoyed making some of my on "Pinterest" projects! You can DO SO MUCH with chalkboard paint!

The Girls LOVE their new chalkboard door!

This was a fun idea to paint the side of a cabinet with chalkboard paint and have your menu for the week displayed!

This was an organization tip to hang your spray bottle on a tension rod under the sink!

This was a cheap "put it together yourself" walmart bookshelf.

I popped the back off and bought some FUN fabric and spray on adhesive and put it on the back piece I had popped off and then nailed it back on! I am going to do some other things with this fabric with the curtains and bedding.. pics to come!

LESSON LEARNED: I have had a GREAT time doing all these projects and instead of saving up a ton of money for things I have learned to see the beauty in pieces others have given up on and recreate something more modern, fun, and unique! I find myself not really wanting "cookie cutter" decorations anymore!  I am excited for my next TREASURE hunt!!



 I am currently on the look out for old shutters, an old multi-pane window, and an awesome old door!  I wish I had a trip planned soon to dig through my Aunt Elaine's BARN!

30 days... 21 years in the making!!

Tonight at Celebrate Recovery I got my 30 day chip for healthy, no counting, no weighing, or no measuring EATING!

I can remember as far back as 12 years old about being self conscious about my body and feeling fat. I have tried EVERY diet out there but have always felt like everyday it was an internal battle with food and with my body image which led to an eating disorder in my twenties. These last 30 days have truly been some of the most freeing and life changing for me. I started this journey with thedanielplan.com 32 days ago after attending the celebrate recovery summit in August.  I looked at it like I have every other thing I had tried and honestly expected it fail and feel deprived BUT it was SO different for me.  I think the biggest difference I think this time is I have finally made a healthy decision and not just a weight loss decision. I have never felt so much energy, emotionally regulated, and just healthy! A lot of people have asked what the "Daniel Plan" is so in a nut shell...

1. If it comes out of the ground or has a mother eat it!
2. No man-made sugars. (Only Stevia, Organic Honey, and Organic Maple Syrup)
3. No caffeine.
4. If it is in the aisle of the grocery store make sure the product has no more than 5 ingredients and be able to pronounce all of them.
5. Organic whenever possible

Tonight when they said "30 days, Does anyone have 30 days?" I wanted to jump up and cheer but I remembered that Friday night is for the newcomer and I did not want to scare people away. hahaha I am so thankful for celebrate recovery and for the daniel plan.  I don't know nor do I worry about if my feeling about this program will change but I do know that TODAY I feel healthy, happy, and good about myself and the way I look and THAT has been a 21 year journey!

FINALLY A DINING ROOM I LOVE!

When we bought our house about 1 1/2 years ago it was a "short-sell" wreck! I loved the vaulted ceilings. I liked that the kitchen had a nice size dining room attached but once I painted the accent wall I did not know what to put on it. I have my great-grandmother's grandmothers pie safe, my grand mothers sewing machine with her mothers sewing box and my great-grandmothers dishes.  I found a table at a place here in the city that had a table the matched all the antiques but I was sooooo lost with the huge brown wall!! My friend Beth is one of those people whose house looks like a magazine! Her husband and I grew up together but I have just been getting to know Beth so I emailed her and asked her to help! She came over and we looked and talked about the room and now I have a room I LOVE and not look at with despair, frustration, and hopelessness! I also did all of this for only $22! I got the lamp, white ceramic chicken, and metal candle box (the water pitcher was my great-grandmothers) at Goodwill, the plates at Ross, and plate hangers at Hobby Lobby!  The lamp was a 70s shiny brass so I spray painted it with some silver spray paint I had!



BEFORE!



AFTER!

Big Bertha & Our Family's Camping Adventures: Robber's Cave September 2011

We decided to take a little family camping trip this last weekend. We headed back to Robber's Cave because I knew my phone would not work down there and I needed a break from work and the outside world! We took the kids out of school a 1/2 day on Friday and headed out for our camping adventure! We arrived around 5:00 p.m., got "Big Bertha" set up and then we started dinner!

After dinner we took a hike!

We got back just at dark and set out and enjoyed the night air! We then headed inside and Misa taught us the card came "Con Quien"

After that we watched (well I fell asleep before the first 10 minutes were over) Indian Jones and the Last Crusade!

In the morning I woke up first and made pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and sliced cantaloupe for breakfast! Then we all got ready and I realized I left my hiking shoes at home and all I had was my toms and my flip flops so the best husband in the WORLD took me to "town" (Wilburton) to the only store they have that sales shoes fit for hiking! SHARPS!

We then headed to the cave to hike!

After our hike we headed back to "Big Bertha" for lunch and just relax time! That afternoon Meme and Punkie came down!

After they arrived we headed to the paddle boats and kayaks!

They both did great!  Allie was great at going in a circle and a nice man went and got her brought her back. =)
After the paddle boats, kayaking, and a little swimming we headed back to camp and the girls hung out with Meme and Punkie while Misa, Oscar, and me went on a 2.5 mile hike!

Oscar took off after a deer while we were hiking and he really thought he was going to catch it!

After our hike we headed back to camp and we cooked out turkey burgers, hot dogs, and smores before saying goodbye to Meme and Punkie. We were all pretty tired but Oscar was the first one to fall asleep.

Bless her heart! Allie is a product of her mother. These are the "Lists" she made during our trip!



She was CONVINCED this was "BIG FOOTS" footprint!

We had a great time and made some good memories! I am so excited to see where we will go next! 
Lesson Learned: Quality time and Memories are what make a family!